I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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