Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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