OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
why is half of my head shaved?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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