addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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