Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
