Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize