well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
