oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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