Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
