I just cut my nipple shaving
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
