Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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