Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
