im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
