you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
