my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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