if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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