cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
