I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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