Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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