some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
