i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
