There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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