3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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