Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
