Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
