I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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