I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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