just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
