Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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