a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
