Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
