a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
