Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
