I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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