everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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