Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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