It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
