your room smells of hookers.
And success
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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