i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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