I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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