LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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