dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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