we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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