He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize