sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
