Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize