just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
