the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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