so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize