hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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