Me. At least after what I've been through.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
