okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
