hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
