New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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