Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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