how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
