I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Randomize
