I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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