i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
