never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize