I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
