doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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